The Decline of Western Civilization: Part X

Everything King Midas touched turned to gold...

...we need a little of that talent now, because everything's turning to shit...

• Junk flyers - for a while now, "cleverly" stealthed into magazines - Rupert Murdoch's evil empire accepts money from advertisers to jam a dozen junk flyers in a magazine you don't want (the Sky magazine, "free" with your $934 annual TV subscrtiption - does anyone ever read it?) trying to get you to consume more shit you don't want.
  
  
• Chav nation - you are not cool, OK? Cool is something genuine, you can't buy it - and even if you could it doesn't automatically make you cool. A wanker driving a BMW is still a wanker, right? Remember the saying "you can't polish a turd"? Big sovereign rings, wearing a phat chain outside your clothing, burberry, all over sportswear, the IQ reducing cap... now you don't have to be stupid and anonymous, you can show the whole word you're stupid too.
  
  
• Bling - Know what I mean, innit? That word well and truly sucks. And bling bling. Do you know how fucking stupid that sounds? It ranks alongside toot toot, wee wee, parp parp, tummy, loo and bottom burp. Dumb vocabulary for even dumber people. Or just infantile?
  
  
• The Crazy Frog - Most ringtones are just annoying "status" symbols. They're an electronic audio extension of people's fragile, demented egos and mobile phones must ring loud and long, enough to broadcast your banality to the surrounding public. The Crazy Frog is a moron and so are the numbskulls who paid $$$ for it. Still, it's reputed to have coined-in over £10 million though...
  
  
• Pimping your ride - Oh yeah, it's cool to be a guy who associates with trash whores and then wastes dirt money on the chariot - no longer the ultimate horsedrawn platform for commanding armies and the unleashing of arrows and spears, but the ultimate symbol of an ability to piss money down the drain - a tricked-out '57 Chevy IS cool, a Citroen Saxo IS NOT cool, no matter how much plastic the Blue Peter team glue to it. Metal or Plastic - your choice.


• Lager - Crap, tasteless, cheap fizzy water with alcohol injected into the prcess. Why is Carling Britain's best-selling "beer"? Why? And Carlsberg being probably the best lager in the world? That's like being in the Guiness book of Records for doing probably the world's biggest turd. No wonder the Danes can't wait to see it leave... a bit like pumping raw sewage out to sea. Selling bland liquid to a nation of complete suckers, brilliant strategy. And Fosters? Even the Australians don't drink that stuff.
  
  
• Credit Cards - Britain owes 75% of the whole of Europe's consumer credit debt. Think about it - the other 25% is divided between France, Germany, Spain, Italy, Portugal, the Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark, Sweden... you get the picture.
  
  
• Property - Popular TV has created a nation of wannabe property developers. Buy house, do it up, sell it on at a profit... Buy a house, knock it down, build a block of flats -"Loadsamoney". It's OK for the developers, they don't have to live in these poxy little boxes. People are getting bigger, dwellings are getting smaller... is that ironic or just plain wrong?
  
  
• Pop music - It was October last year when I said Pop Sucks and I still stand by that.

Rant over. Other than that, things are just fine and dandy. Have a nice day :)