Lever's Log - Stardate 20050507

I love having a skim through my webserver logs just to have a good chuckle at the search phrases that got people to this blog. Some of them totally make sense, but others...

FEBRUARY

• illegal bikinis (sorry I don't sell that sort of merchandise here)
  
• parkour girls (mmm)
  
• oooh! (aaah!)
  
• bad man zees from jamaica (is he?)
  
• hymns for farmers uk (Oi, none of that mullarkey round here mate)
  
• throwing snails (it was slugs actually, but that'll do)
  
• orbital new age travellers (wow, intergalactic hippies huh?)
  

MARCH

• rachel bilsons hair (what about Rachel Bilson's hair?)
  
• totp sucks (yes it does)
  
• mean bollox (have I?)
  
• abercrombie & fitch spotting jeans fake (LOL)
  
• zuel dana (it's OK I found the gatekeeper)
  
• cattleprod farnborough (or bomb Farnborough, either will do)
  
• lentil nightmare (Ah, looking for Neil the Hippy aye?)
  
• fake diamonds plastic bling glue dozen (I admire your taste NOT)
  
• beer is food stickers (I'll have some too when you find them)
  
• faded jeans assholes (hahaha, I mean seriously hahahahahaha)
  
• you know i m on fire when you come (mmmm sexy! I like *you* already)
  
• darryl jenifer bass strings (he uses 4 I reckon)
  
• jonathan davies opinion on head leaving korn (what, he commented on here?!)
  
• cliches about positive thinking (well it could've been worse...)
  
• speed of a ninja (ah, now is that your standard ninja or your blackline ninja?)
  

APRIL

• rachel bilsons hair (again! - look, she's not here mate, she's gone home)
  
• carl barat sleazy (probably)
  
• carl barat pants (you won't find those here)
  
• flying slug (sounds like either a pub or a train...)
  
• bendy lady (oh yeah, and who's that then? I really must meet her)
  
• mugged chavs (WTF could/would you mug a chav for? A beating yes, but a mugging no)
  
• fun cycling bracknell (fun + Bracknell in the same phrase? - don't fink so)
  
• what bass did darryl jenifer play? (a mean one)
  
• true blue great danes in ok (er... OK)
  
• mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (that's what I thought)
  
• world biggest turd (Hahaha)
  
• costumes for rats (What, you're talking 'em to a fancy dress party?)
  
• video previews of crutches (what, walking aids? now *that's* a fetish... )
  
• assholes by faded jeans (that's BUY; B-U-Y)
  
• spells to make it sunny (you're cool whoever you are)
  
• hank marvin bust (try eBay)
  
• female poledancers (what? like there's anything *but* female poledancers. Dork!)
  

MAY (so far)

• julius ceasar and the coin flip (???)
  
• what is happening to our blue skies (well, when it rains they get cloudy and go sort of dark or white/grey duh!)
  
• what is cockney rhyming slang to do with the seaside (I don't know, what is cockney rhyming slang to do with the seaside?)
  
• blue bacon wash (sounds apetizing - or is that some sort of new shower gel?)

People and their inquisitive minds - don't ya just love 'em? :D