Tale of the Topbox Terror
So my friend's laughing, telling me about what just happened...
They were driving to Guildford, along a 2-lane carriageway at 70 mph when this car pulls up alongside them. The woman driver is making gestures. Nutter. If they ignore her just long enough she may go away and stop bothering them.
She continues to drive alongside, still frantically gesturing.
For god's sake, what *does* she want?
She mouths the words...
So they drive up to the next roundabout, double-back, head back down the road and then loop-back again.
They pull over and stop to rescue all the crap that flew out of the topbox.
So they finally get to Guildford, a 15 minute journey, in just over an hour. LMAO
She gets home and has a go at hubby about not closing the topbox properly. He swears he shut it proper. So there's some reasons why it opened then...
I'm seriously considering going down the A331 tomorrow to pick up some random crap (probably a hubcap, newspaper, rubber glove, banana skin, one old trainer, bit of tyre...) put in in a bag or box and leave it outside their house with a note...
They were driving to Guildford, along a 2-lane carriageway at 70 mph when this car pulls up alongside them. The woman driver is making gestures. Nutter. If they ignore her just long enough she may go away and stop bothering them.
She continues to drive alongside, still frantically gesturing.
For god's sake, what *does* she want?
She mouths the words...
YOUR+STUFF+IS+FALLING+OUT+OF+THE+TOPBOXALARM. Check rear view. OMG. PANIC. Stuff. Falling out of the topbox...
So they drive up to the next roundabout, double-back, head back down the road and then loop-back again.
They pull over and stop to rescue all the crap that flew out of the topbox.
"Don't worry about anything I just want the kid's wetsuit back"So off they go, on foot, back down the busy A331 picking up beach towel, shoes, another towel, kids' kite, flip-flops, bucket & spade, aha - wetsuit.
"No, no, you can't just leave all that stuff lying at the side of the road"
So they finally get to Guildford, a 15 minute journey, in just over an hour. LMAO
She gets home and has a go at hubby about not closing the topbox properly. He swears he shut it proper. So there's some reasons why it opened then...
1) He really didn't close it properlySo he swears it had something to do with point 3) which is funny in itself 'cos just after the bird-strike these cars kept driving past with people gawping out the side windows at them... "WTF you looking at? Weirdos." And when they got home there was this dead pigeon wedged under the topbox...
2) Somebody's been snooping
3) There's that pigeon that hit the topbox yesterday at 80 mph...
I'm seriously considering going down the A331 tomorrow to pick up some random crap (probably a hubcap, newspaper, rubber glove, banana skin, one old trainer, bit of tyre...) put in in a bag or box and leave it outside their house with a note...
"You forgot to pick these up"
Blue Skies thinking @ 6/26/2005 06:36:00 PM
17 Comments:
At Sun Jun 26, 10:48:00 PM,
piniyini said…
lol I love stupidity stories, he must be one hell of a friend. There's always one in every group isn't there
At Mon Jun 27, 04:17:00 AM,
Keeefer said…
On the plus side at least they werent on the Motorway.
I just read your account of the beer festival, god that was depressing. Australians may have an excellent grasp of winemaking but brewing escapes them. In the last few years a lot of micro brewqeries have sprung up and many produce reasonable beers. However, it appears that in order for an Aussie to drink beer you need to make it as fizzy as coca cola and as cold as mary whitehouses crotch. Oh what id give for a flat, just below room temperature pint of ale.
At Mon Jun 27, 04:20:00 AM,
RahX said…
At least it wasn't a pet leashed to the bumper.
At Mon Jun 27, 07:44:00 AM,
Lever said…
Piniyini: Yeah, something funny always happens to her, absolutely typical - wonder what's next? LOL
Keeefer: Hey Keeefer, welcome aboard mate :)
Yeah, the motorway woulda been even more of a problem, usually involving miles before being able to turn back and back again LOL
As for your beer... [-o-] said the same about Fosters - "piss with bubbles" he called it. Admittedly there are times when an ice cold lager hits the spot, especially when it's blazing hot outside, but on the whole nothing beats a proper ale. If ever you're back over this way give me a shout and we'll hit some real beer pubs :)
RahX: Ouch! True. A friend in Toronto told me of a woman who drove to work with her cat on the roof of her 4x4. Same thing happend, people were flashing their lights at her, pointing etc. Cat was OK though, if a little ruffled LOL
At Mon Jun 27, 11:42:00 AM,
Brom said…
Excellent!! LMAO.
Oh, apparently it is very difficult to release pigeons that have become stuck in small gaps. They get dovetailed in you see.
At Mon Jun 27, 02:43:00 PM,
superfan said…
lol!!! hehe just what was needed.
At Mon Jun 27, 06:05:00 PM,
BeckyBumbleFuck said…
A classically British story, although something like this could *definitely* happen to me. Except that I'd be like "TOPBOX? What is this lady going on about?"
And then another key element, would be missing as well: the roundabout. Us Americans would just have to swear as we waited for the next exit so that we could turn our asses around. Maybe the roundabout was created because the British have a proclivity for leaving their "topboxes?" open? *laughing...*
At Mon Jun 27, 06:24:00 PM,
rebekah said…
ohhh totally do that ... the bag thing ... that's what i would do ... what's a topbox exactly ??
At Mon Jun 27, 07:05:00 PM,
Red said…
LOL, excellent :) That road just attracts random stuff. Heh.
At Mon Jun 27, 09:43:00 PM,
Lever said…
Brom: Well fancier that. Homing in on the answer there I see, Brom ;)
Sef: Yeah, lucky it wasn't full of underwear or something, now *that* would have been *really* embarrasing :)
My BBFK: Yeah, funny thing is that with you, dear, you'd prolly get chased by the cops 'cos you'd used *your* keys to drive away *someone else's* car without even realising LOL :)
And as for turning your asses around, that's why *we* call *that* a fanny ;) *laughing too*
Rebekah: Yeah, I was seriously thinking about it...
I left the link for a topbox in the post, but incase you missed it, it's here ;)
Red: LOL, yeah it sure does... and I've never seen so many broken down cars as there are on that road, especially during the winter... and as for those huge puddles down there...
At Mon Jun 27, 10:06:00 PM,
Jay said…
A very good friend of mine writes a blog that I can barely read because he's so damned British in it. I have to call him up, have a very expensive phone conversation replete with definitions for all his wonky words, just so I can understand it.
You my dear provide links so that the rest of us will know what in tarnation you are talking about! Love it!
At Tue Jun 28, 12:13:00 AM,
rebekah said…
i almost never click on links. it's almost like, extra work or something ... i just can't be bothered ;)
but thanks, i will answer my own question :D tough love, Lever. i like that about you ...
At Tue Jun 28, 07:26:00 AM,
jonny ragel said…
lol. that would be hilarious if you dropped that stuff on their porch.
what's a bit of 'tyre'? is that a brit spelling thing? I'm not sure if I'm saying this right- this story was the bullocks.
At Tue Jun 28, 03:00:00 PM,
superfan said…
is the 'this story was the bullocks' thing the thing that you werent sure if it was right?
(sorry for that)
if so....aaaah. mind is dead. too hot. sorry :D
At Tue Jun 28, 11:56:00 PM,
searchingforMrDarcy said…
Oh lever you do tell the funny stories. Corse while reading, I was thinking, you know this all could have been avoided by using the trunk. Do British cars not have a trunks? I have seen a few topboxes out here in the states, but for the most part our big a#@ cars don't need them.
At Wed Jun 29, 05:36:00 PM,
Lever said…
Jay: Thankyou Jay, that's a great compliment and an honour too :) Remind me if I lapse...
Rebekah: LOL lazy girl... I seem to recall you did't enjoy stairs either ;)
LOL, I guess you call topboxes something else over there...? But then Texan rednecks with testosterone-fuelled pick-ups don't need no goddam fairy topboxes, right? ;)
Johnny Crash: LOL I just did, dude ;) Tyre? I guess that'll be Tire? LOL Yeah, a Brit thing - and in British slang it was either "the bollocks" as in "the dog's bollocks" or good, or " a load of bollocks", "a load of aold bollocks" or just plain "bollocks" which is bad :)
Sef: We shall see... ;)
Don't worry it's hot here too, mind is just about working...
SFMD: LOL, thanks SFMD, BBFK just calls 'em silly ;)
The thing is, these friends have 2 kids and a saloon car with a not-so-big trunk... so the trunk usually houses the pram/pushchair...
Ask BBFK about the trunk on my big ass car - youcould fit an orchestra in there and it attracts peeing girls in airport carparks... ;)
At Thu Jun 30, 05:55:00 PM,
BeckyBumbleFuck said…
Oh, pahleaze. Me call your story, "silly"? ;)
And I like how I'm being used as a reference, now. Yes, you have a big *boot*, um I mean *trunk*, uh, yeah...
Post a Comment
<< Home