Drunken Bum

So I go out for a bike ride with my buddies (there's 12 of us out tonight) and we do about 10 miles round Ash Ranges, then come back to "The Swan" in Ash to enjoy a few pints in the beer garden. We have a few decent ales, a good old chinwag and then me, T, A & A cycle home in the dark.

A & A get home first (they live in the same road) then me & T do the last couple of miles past the Tech College... where some complete arsehole is arguing with his girl... nothing pleasant, no sorting-it-out, just lots of toe-to-toe, f'ing and blinding, him "offering her out"... So me & T stop to make sure she's OK. Being a completely out-of-control drunken arse, this dickhead decides to have a go at us too, despite the fact we mention that all we are doing is making sure the girl is OK...

Then he decides to take us on too... my phone comes out of my pocket and I dial the number of Hants & IOW police....

Mr potential-wife-beater then pursues me down the path, with T, on his bike, inbetween. Now, clever T never misses an opportunity and slams his brakes on, taking out this idiot and dropping his bike whilst I inform this nice girl at the local copshop about a guy who disrespects women...

Tenacious Dickhead won't give up and follows us down the Farnborough Road, whilst I keep a safe distance and wait for the cops to show... a lone WPC drives past and can't stop on the dual carriageway 'cos the fool has now crossed the road. He disappears into the distance, far away from the girl...

So me and T leave it and cycle home...

T bids farewell and I continue my last mile alone with just a back light, so I decide to risk using the pavement rather than the road(that's worth a £30 fine)

Just 2 minutes down the road and waddya know... a squad car pulls up... Mr Lever is all friendly and cool and asks if they're here about the incident, just incase they try to DO me for cycling on the pavement... they know nothing about our drunken friend but ask me where I've come from and where I'm going... it transpires that they're looking for a suspect to a burglary in the area...

"Well it's not me" I say
"Obviously" they reply

So I continue my way home, happy that some girl got away from her nasty piece of work boyfriend and that the cops were cool.

As I write this a police spotter plane flies overhead, hopefully with infra-red cameras to pick-out the thieving scumbag who burgled someone's house... off with his hands I say!!

"Some day a REAL rain will come and wash ALL the scum off the streets" - Red Angel Dragnet - The Clash

Sleep well folks :)