ForeverBlueSkies - Life, the Universe & Everything - a blog

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Don't ya just hate... Sausages

No I'm not going mad, I'm just having a torrid time with food at the moment, especially the tinned, processed, pre-packaged stuff... for example... in last night's shopping basket...
  • Sausage - only fit for catsDutch Sausage: Don't get excited girls, trust me - "look into my eyes, look into my eyes, not around the eyes, only the eyes *clicks fingers* and you're under - you don't want any Dutch sausage OK? *clicks fingers* you're back in the room!"

    Anyhow - the point is, I'm happy that food labelling standards are improving, at last I can tell what I'm eating. And Smoked Dutch Sausage has... wait for it... 50% pork (that's good!) and then... connective tissue (pork, beef) WHAT THE FUCK? CONNECTIVE TISSUE? What, like sinews, muscle etc? I'm NOT eating that! *spits it out*

    Another ingredient was mechanically seperated chicken! Mechanically seperated? Sounds like some medieval torture device! Seperate chicken's head from body - body goes to the breast & drumstick department whilst cranium, beak, brains and eyes, being mechanically seperated, "head" for the Dutch Sausage department...

  • Hot Dogs: They're not hot and there's no dog in them, so what silly fucker named this "foodstuff" so? You'd expect that with all the brands of hot dog on the shelf that the one dollar 50 can is better quality than the 50 cent variety... Oh no, stupid mistake...

    And guess what the main ingredient of these little babies is? Mechanically recovered chicken! Now correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that all the gristle/skin they wash off the machines in the aforementioned "breast & drumstick department" or just another name for the mechanically seperated shit?
Well that's it, I don't care anymore, I think I'm going to be a vegetarian now... Jamie Oliver was right about the turkey twizzlers...

Oh, and here's some stuff about mechanically recovered meat and a random link about gristle, cow brains and stun-guns I found whilst looking for images of recovered meat... Enjoy :)

Blue Skies thinking @ 9/13/2005 09:07:00 PM  

25 Comments:

  • At Tue Sep 13, 08:32:00 PM, Blogger BeckyBumbleFuck said…

    K. Honey. I'm trying to figure out the connection between the cute kitty and your post..."TAKE THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH." LMAO. ;)

    Anyways, yes. Please only feed your body nice things so that you last longer, babes. :D
    Course after writing all that, I'm not sure how you're going to be able to stomach anything except a carrot. ;)

     

  • At Tue Sep 13, 08:59:00 PM, Blogger Lever said…

    My BBFK: Le chat was a random and wonderful find, (he's eating a sausage) but yeah... perfect quote there babe LOL

    LMAO... Yeah, I'd go veggie, but I'd miss the bacon sanis... yet big D did say there was veggie bacon... faken or something? LOL

    You gonna feed me good things then, sweetheart? *flutters eyelashes*

     

  • At Tue Sep 13, 10:34:00 PM, Blogger davinian said…

    big D? ;-)

    To be honest was thinking of eating meat again, really like the idea of a Welsh River Cottage life-style... hand reared pigs, sheep, etc., etc... but then again its been 9 1/2 years...

     

  • At Wed Sep 14, 12:13:00 AM, Blogger Lever said…

    Davinian: LOL, yeah, you been called that before I swear.

    Any organic meat has gotta be good, like the stuff from the local farmers' markets, it's just the notion of having "daisy" butchered and on your plate... tasting oh so juicy with a bit of mustard and chips & peas... LOL

    But 9.5 years? Long time. Could your system actually handle it though? My dad's been a veggie for 30 years, my bro all of his 16 years... I know my dad would phyiscally hurl if he ate meat...

     

  • At Wed Sep 14, 02:04:00 AM, Blogger tescosuicide said…

    Ok...guess I'll skip that late night snack.

     

  • At Wed Sep 14, 04:11:00 AM, Blogger Keeefer said…

    man thats some grim reading. Stick to the safe things like black pudding

     

  • At Wed Sep 14, 07:47:00 AM, Blogger Lever said…

    Tescosuicide: LOL I would if I were you, dude. I actually threw that stuff in the trash. A waste of money but I'll know better for next time.

    Keeefer: LMAO Yeah at least there's only blood and bits o' bone in black pudding - and if BBFK says she don't like it I can tell ya she had some for breakfast once and said it was alright!

     

  • At Wed Sep 14, 05:58:00 PM, Anonymous T0PS3O said…

    Congrats on ur 35th mate!

     

  • At Wed Sep 14, 06:31:00 PM, Blogger Lever said…

    t0ps30: Hey J, cheers :D And shhh, you're not supposed to tell anybody ;)

     

  • At Wed Sep 14, 07:30:00 PM, Blogger rebekah said…

    um what keeps me from eating hot dogs and the like is that someone once told me they were made of anus parts of the animal and i dont want to put that sort of thing in my mouth ... its' the same as when someone once told me root beer tasted like tooth paste and uh yeah. it does. hence i dont drink it. so um yeah. anus. ew.

     

  • At Wed Sep 14, 08:26:00 PM, Blogger BeckyBumbleFuck said…

    Honey, I'm sorry to break this to you on your birthday, but black pudding is ********* and *****. I was being polite before. :)

     

  • At Wed Sep 14, 09:19:00 PM, Blogger ergo said…

    Happy birthday!

     

  • At Wed Sep 14, 11:12:00 PM, Blogger shina said…

    Happy birthday, dude...noticed by becky. Have a good time...!
    (and Oct 16 is my bro's BD, yes...)

    *smirk*

    --------------------------------------
    (I'm really tired of translation trial thingy & toeic test strategies...)
    --------------------------------------

    Well, enjoy!

     

  • At Thu Sep 15, 12:27:00 AM, Blogger Keeefer said…

    happy birthday, you're even older than me!

     

  • At Thu Sep 15, 01:14:00 AM, Blogger searchingforMrDarcy said…

    Oh Lever you do post the funny thought provoking posts. Just stay away from tinned meat dude.
    The cat is very cute is it yours?

    Happy Birthday! You totally don't look the age listed above. I'd put you at 27, making BBFK a naughty cradle robber.

    There is one good veggie bacon. The rest all taste like salt and will probably give you a hart attack.

     

  • At Thu Sep 15, 01:34:00 AM, Blogger rebekah said…

    oh? a birthday? you didnt mention that ... you sneaky person, you ...

    happy birthday :) i'd sing you a song but eh. fancy a sausage instead?

     

  • At Thu Sep 15, 06:34:00 AM, Blogger davinian said…

    35? wow, you haven't weathered well ;) hehehe... I'd have said only 30... how was the curry?

     

  • At Thu Sep 15, 09:52:00 AM, Blogger Lever said…

    Rebekah: Haha bum dogs. You said bum dogs hahaha. Oh. You didn't? But I swear... OK, we'll call them bum dogs then ;) Root beer tastes like mouthwash I think... TCP!!

    My BBFK: I know, you were just trying to be British weren't you dear? ;) Otherwise you'd have probably sued the kitchen in Green Street for calling it pudding when there wasn't a dollop of ice cream or maple syrup in sight :o LOL

    OK, we'll get you on the white pudding next time OK?

    Ergo: Thx Ergo :D And congrats on your defence ;) Told you 13 September was lucky =)

    HyperBudda: Hey thx HyperBudda :D And Test Of English for International Communication? Ah, you're doing wonderful! I'd give you top marks!! =)

    Keeefer: Thx dude :D Yeah, I'm older than you, what of it? LOL You got a BMX? You still crash MTBs? Hehe ;)

    SFMD: Well, I was eating and looking at the ingredients at the same time... so yeah, deffo staying away from any processed food for quite a while now... Nah, the cat was a random image form the 'net... very cute & nice though - a Burmese I think?

    Oh and thx for the age verification - LMAO @ BBFK cradle snatching ;)

    Rebekah: Oh, hello again :D Modest not sneaky, OK?

    Thx Rebekah, I think I'll pass on the sausage/bum dog LOL

    Davinian: LMAO yeah, thx dude :rolleyes: LOL

    The curry was good :) settled for a Korma for a change, haven't had a not-hot curry in years, it was delicious - sag aloo, a couple of pints of Cobra and the pilau rice was exquisitely flavoursome last night :D

     

  • At Thu Sep 15, 02:32:00 PM, Blogger rebekah said…

    :: snicker snicker :: oh but you do make me giggle at inappropriate things ... bum dog ... hehehehehe ... nice day of celebrating eh?

    you talked to becky all damn nite and when i got back on skype she was gone ... :P

    i should be mad but there's always today ... it's alright ...

     

  • At Thu Sep 15, 10:55:00 PM, Blogger Brom said…

    Benblwydd Hapys I Ti. as they say in The Valleys on someones birthday, hoping of course that there is a drink in it somewhere.

    Sausages and meat and stuff.. now yer talkin. It just so happens that I've started importing reindeer meat this very week. OK the business is in its infancy and quantities are low, well OK 1 tin so far. But it could be the start of something big. .. well.. maybe.

     

  • At Thu Sep 15, 11:33:00 PM, Blogger Keeefer said…

    I no longer have a bmx and i only crash porsches :)

     

  • At Fri Sep 16, 08:08:00 AM, Blogger Jay said…

    Oh I adore Jamie Oliver...now I am sure to be distracted all day long.

     

  • At Fri Sep 16, 09:39:00 AM, Blogger Lever said…

    Rebekah: Bum dog it is then. Yeah was a good day - up all night with BBFK :)

    Brom-man: Thx Brom :)

    Reindeer meat? LOL, a cross between beef and venison huh? Sounds OK actually :) Let us know the taste test OK? Gotta be better than hot dogs :) I can imagine you down at the farmers' market, sizzling away with Brom Brand Rudolph Burgers... LOL

    Keeefer: Crash Porsches? You actually have/stacked a Porsche or you play too much Gran Turismo? ;) Tell us, Keefer, tell us more...

    Jay: Jamie Oliver is now a dude, especially since highlighting the complete trash we feed our kids and promoting proper food... hats off to the guy...

     

  • At Wed Sep 21, 07:45:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Sky said…

    I went to spiritual retreat once, being the type of inquiring Christian that I am...and learnt that a fellow delegate (who was a scientist) once performed a scientific test into the properties of a popular restaurants' burgers (Who shall remain nameless for legal reasons...let's just call them Mucburgers shall we?).

    I was fascinated to discover the results of the test.

    The test came about due to a condensated window. The scientist (Who shall remain nameless for legal reasons, let's pretend they were called "Donald").

    Oh, let me start that again then: Donald was in his car, and had this condensation on the window, OK?

    So what do you do? You reach under the car seat for the window scraper thing. Don does this, but finds a yellow container - it is a Mucburger in it's case!

    Casting the immense scientific brain back to the last time a mucburger was actually purchased, Don thinks this: "Oh wow, I remember - I went to a drive in and ordered a Mucburger, then put it under the carseat, and I must've forgotten all about it! That was...let me see (Checks wristwatch) one entire month ago!"

    Fearing for the rancid state the burger must be in by now, Don was loath to open the polystyrene packaging, however, curiosity got the better of this keen mind, and with some trepidation, he flipped the lid to see...MUCBURGER!

    Exactly the SAME as the day it was bought - NO mould, NO fungus growing, NO signs of decomposition! (Lettuce a bit brown, and no longer warm though...)

    So, what does a scientific genius do with this information?

    He went straight back to Mucburgers (not to complain, but) to buy a fresh Mucburger!

    Restraining the urge to gobble it down, Don heads for home and places the Mucburger in it's case on his patio in his back garden. It is June, and the patio is in the sun most of the day.

    Checking and observing the burger on a weekly basis, our scientist noted no decomposition of the meat, or sesame seed bun - mould did not form, in fact, the burger lasted outside for THREE MONTHS before Donald decided to terminate the experiment due to an interesting random factor which shed more light on the mysterious everlasting foodstuff...

    The random factor? ANTS.

    Don noticed a line of ants foraging in a line were actually walking AROUND the burger! They didn't want to eat it!

    Don's conclusion was that - If a Mucburger will not be touched by insects, bacteria, or mould and it does not decompose after three months in the sun...IT IS NOT FOOD.

     

  • At Wed Sep 21, 09:43:00 AM, Blogger Lever said…

    Dr. Sky: LMFAO - Great story, love the lateral introduction...

    ...and *that* is the sort of conclusive scientific experimentation that we do like to see ;) Forget social reputation & gut instinct... it's the *facts* we need :) LOL

    It's interesting that the MucBurger, left unopened in the car, remained that way for so long... a further indication that it initially failed to register as food, and that, secondly, it didn't stink the car out either... that's a sure sign that there's something wrong with your car... you open the door and get hit with the undeniable waft of... old food. Or not, as the case may be :)

    Conclusive proof that mass-marketed mass-produced meat products are NOT FOOD. Thx for your input on this one Dr. Sky, much appreciated :)

     

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