Se7en Things...

Ah, OK, was gonna talk about the Maitre D minus, but then there just aint time - Life is moving at a pace I'm barely able to keep up with at the moment, so here's something I promised Rebekah I'd do a while back :)

Se7en Things I Want To Do Before I Die

Alright - there's actually a list on the blog circuit somewhere called 100 things... and I'd planned a twist on it since Feb... but I only got to 70... so these 7 will do for now...

1.) Write a book/website that connects people in such a way that people just know it'’s right... like a religion but without the bullshit/ dogma - oh wait; isn'’t that just life/ humanity?

2.) Build an "eco" house from the ground up... or is that the underground up...?

3.) Build my own chopper, a totally original Harley D with those little touches that are Lever's and Lever's alone - and then realise I can't get it out of the living room

4.) Go see some culture, experience it, live it, write about it, take pictures, speaka de lingo, then colonise and Anglicise it… ;) j/k Ah, well OK, just travel some :)

5.) Get back into some major art/ design again and do something big/ nice to go on public display, then check out how happy/ thoughtful it makes people...

6.) Produce a trance/ ambient record that is so full of sexy/ ecstatic sounds and rhythms that people feel compelled to make out to it...…

7.) Live the rest of my days with her ;)

Se7en Things I Can Do

You don't wanna hear about XHTML, PHP and CSS so here's some non-nerdy shit...

1.) Crash bikes and chip/ crack/ break bones without too much blood spillage

2.) Quickly identify and subtly eliminate liars, fakers, egotists, sensationalists and generally negative/ deceptive/ ulterior-motivated assholes

3.) Take-out punch bags with a mean right jab

4.) Stay awake for hours on end without admitting to insomnia

5.) Feel ecstatic without the use of class A drugs

6.) Juggle

7.) Instinctively navigate & drive like a demon

Se7en Things I Cannot Do

Apart form listen to Pop music, but that's most of us here, right?

1.) Lie -– especially when having to remind elders, betters and people in power of their distinct lack of intelligence/ experience/ grip on reality...…

2.) Keep a straight face in inappropriate situations

3.) Organise piss-ups in breweries

4.) Give birth to children or play with my boobs

5.) Tolerate politicians, businessmen, salesmen and lawyers (ref: Things I can do, item #2)

6.) Visit Iraq or Afghanistan for a holiday

7.) Watch anything on TV other than documentaries, news and the occasional bit of sport. Also see celebrity crush #5.

Se7en Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex

1.) Intelligence, Intellect, qualifications, geekiness,– playing chess, battleship, RPGs and strategy games -… awesomeness with a capital YEAH

2.) Honesty, Modesty, Loyalty

3.) To be well read, and not just of the classics - she has to have some oddities in there...– and bookworms are a major turn-on.

4.) Sense of humour - twisted & intelligent - e.g. likes h2g2, The Young Ones, Ealing comedy, Farty Towels, Trainspotting and some o' that over the pond stuff like Frasier would be good :) OK, only Frasier - what else is there?

5.) Beauty - Legs, boobs, belly, lips, eyes, cheeks, mouth - you know, all the classic parts that make up the female body...… ;) My mate used to have a thing for girls'’ ankles *shrugs*

6.) Decent taste in music, ability to play instrument a bonus

7.) Admitting that English is English and there's no such thing as "American"” English ;)

Se7en Things I Say Most Often

1.) Fuck, fucking, oh for fuck'’s sake, fuck off, fuck you, I must not fucking swear...…

2.) Do What?

3.) I Love you

4.) You'’ve gotta understand that...

5.) Yeah, and...…? (Your point is...…?)

6.) *Sigh*

7.) Nah, mate, wasn't me!

Se7en Celebrity Crushes (in no particular order)

1.) PJ Harvey (awesome)

2.) Angelina Jolie (who?)

3.) Katie Derham (British newsreader)

4.) Alright, this one was a toss-up (is it OK to say "toss-up" as part of the selection process between women. or is it just plain rude?) between Sandra Bullock and Famke Janssen (The Faculty, The X-men (Dr. Jean Gray))... so it's gotta be... Joanna Lumley Had to go for a bit o' homegrown talent ;)

5.) Bettany Hughes (Sexy British Historian)

6.) That one-eyed bird out of Futurama

7.) Becky Bumblefuck (Celebrity blogger)

That'll do for now, ask me again in a year and I'll change me mind... Adios amigos :)