It's an inch too wide...
...so I'm sorry, I won't be able to squeeze it in.
So yeah, it's time for a new microwave oven I think. It's just that the one I want is an inch too wide for the only place in the custom-built kitchen where a smaller microwave was designed to fit.
And the one I want is SO cool... get this, there's a button on it that says CHAOS DEFROST. Awesome! CHAOS DEFROST. Seriously, it's true. I had visions of H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulu-esque freaks or Warhammer RPG monstrosities, ready to re-animate at the touch of a button. Nice. Or as one guy so eloquently put it...
Ho hum, time to find a smaller new microwave; No funky button though, no chaos defrost
So yeah, it's time for a new microwave oven I think. It's just that the one I want is an inch too wide for the only place in the custom-built kitchen where a smaller microwave was designed to fit.
And the one I want is SO cool... get this, there's a button on it that says CHAOS DEFROST. Awesome! CHAOS DEFROST. Seriously, it's true. I had visions of H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulu-esque freaks or Warhammer RPG monstrosities, ready to re-animate at the touch of a button. Nice. Or as one guy so eloquently put it...
"I imagined activating it and seeing the End of Days, as the very essence of chaos itself was thawed out to wreak untold havoc upon the unsuspecting world. You’d think Panasonic would be more careful than to provide the gateway to armageddon in a kitchen appliance."So at 510mmm it's an inch too wide to fit into the slot.
Ho hum, time to find a smaller new microwave; No funky button though, no chaos defrost
Blue Skies thinking @ 11/03/2005 12:15:00 AM
17 Comments:
At Thu Nov 03, 02:46:00 AM,
rebekah said…
i hate microwaves
big burly boxes that make your food all soggy
plus it gives you radiation
i'm all into spiderman or whatever, but i'd rather not catch anything weird just from re-heating my pizza
i'll just eat it cold
At Thu Nov 03, 09:50:00 AM,
Lever said…
Rebekah: Radiation? Yeah, I guess so, afterall it was designed by those lovely fellas over at Raytheon who make things like radar, sidewinders, cruise & Patriot missiles.
And talking of which don't trust Monsanto to genetically modify anything you eat, afterall they were the people behind Agent Orange :S
At Thu Nov 03, 12:29:00 PM,
Brom said…
A microwave is rectangular.. so...Put it in sideways!
Geez do I have to solve everyone's problems!
At Thu Nov 03, 03:04:00 PM,
Lever said…
Brom-man: LMFAO Ah! OK then, will do :)
I'm just a bit concerned I won't be able to see stuff exploding in the microwave, if it's in sideways, that's usually fun to watch... any recommendations on that side o' things, Brom?
At Thu Nov 03, 04:30:00 PM,
ergo said…
I was going to suggest the proper application of a hacksaw and a sledgehammer. But I think Brom-man's suggestions is much tidier.
At Thu Nov 03, 05:29:00 PM,
Lever said…
Ergo: Hmm, I could go the hammer route, that'd be most fun. I mean, the old scanner went the same way a few years back, so why not have some smashed-up-microwave fun? A microwave party? "Bring a Hammer" LOL
At Fri Nov 04, 12:35:00 PM,
Mummy/Crit said…
Someone has to say it...."I don't care how big it is, it's what you do with it" But I do have to agree on the chaos defrost button...so, what does it actually _do_ or is it like the drink-chiller/baked bean heater feature in my car (that they dropped in the later model) Go Nissan!
At Fri Nov 04, 01:10:00 PM,
Lever said…
Mummy/Crit: LOL fair point, I don't use the microwave much but they are handy.
Chaos Deforst? Yeah, it intrigued me too... Panasonic, in reference to the Trubo defrost&tm; feature, loosely cover "chaos defrost" with the following explanation...
"It was developed on the basis of what scientists call 'Chaos Theory.' This design makes it possible to distribute microwave energy with the most appropriate combination of regularity and irregularity."
Yeah, rrright guys, that's cleared it up. All I can think of is that the micorwave power used to defrost is applied in a more random (chaotic) way i.e. blasts of extreme heat, cool, warm etc in a random way by the second. Does that sound better or am I just as bad? LOL
At Fri Nov 04, 01:12:00 PM,
Lever said…
Mummy/Crit: Oh, and that coffee/baked beans heater/chiller sounds good :) I might have to try cooking a baked potato in tin foil off my exhaust manifold... LOL
At Fri Nov 04, 09:18:00 PM,
BeckyBumbleFuck said…
I love that there is higher philophical meaning in microwaving. It's so much more exciting thinking that I'm "opening the gateway to armageddon" than just re-warming my chili burger left over from the week before.
Yay! Thanks for the post, babe!
(*smooch*)
At Fri Nov 04, 11:32:00 PM,
Lever said…
My BBFK: Urgh! Week old chilli burgers? Girl, I gotta change your ways, that aint healthy :p
You know, being from the Ghostbusters generation, we come to expect more from our appliances, like frigidaires that open up into strange new worlds and the like... the MTV generation seem to have taken those things for granted, so thank heaven for those clever boffins over @ Panasonic ;)
*smooches you back* :)
At Sun Nov 06, 09:00:00 AM,
superfan said…
CHECK LEVER WITH HIS EMOTICON
bwahah.
i like microwaves, they make things hot. mine's a bit scabby round the bottom too, slightly mangy it has to be said, but never mind =) no chaos defrost, either, far as i know xP
At Sun Nov 06, 12:19:00 PM,
Lever said…
Superfan: Ah, mangy... LMAO
Micorwaves are cool - and don't try this at home, kids, but I remember once putting a lightbulb in a glass of water and microwaving it... that was fun!
At Mon Nov 07, 12:43:00 PM,
Brom said…
Stuff Exploding?, great! sample it and make it into a drum loop!
At Tue Nov 08, 05:12:00 PM,
Lever said…
Brom-man: Now that's a bloody marvellous idea, Brom... can Fruity Loops do that? It'd be Art of Noise all over again LOL
At Wed Nov 30, 01:15:00 PM,
EatYourCarrots said…
Ooh, too bad. Mine's a few inches too long, and I know how frustrating that canbe sometimes.
At Thu Dec 01, 09:54:00 AM,
Lever said…
EatYourCarrots: LOL Oooh, and what if it were too wide AND too long...? Damn, that'd make someone's eyes water...
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