"It's British Summer Time, F**kface"

So, there goes another weekend, another loooong weekend.

We were supposed to be celebrating the life of this bloke, apparently involved in some DIY accident or something, involving a nailgun and some 2 by 4, who was inadvertantly buried alive and awoke to push a giant egg out of a cavemouth so he could escape. Jeez, sounds a bit crazy to me...

Anyways, Friday was a little overcast and then sun and blue skies, and also involved a rather good custom car show (Wheels Day 2005)

Saturday involved a bit of biking and spring cleaning (basically re-organising all the crap in the attic) and Pizza with some friends, though not all at the same time.

Sunday was more biking and a trip to the Comedy Store, London to see Lee Simpson, Andy Smart, Richard Vranch, Jim Sweeney, Neil Mullarkey and Paul Merton (The Comedy Store Players) Andy Smart was late for the start of the show, due to the fact he forgot the clocks went forward, NOT for being at a party full of green smoke. So we were all primed, at the cue of a raised hand, to cry out "It's British Summertime, Fuckface!" Needless to say, once he arrived, this was shouted more than once. The show was hilarious.

There was also dinner at a Mexican restaurant (don't get the juice on your hands, you smell for days) and a trip on the tube involving a man with a giant stuffed Alsatian dog !!


Monday was no bikes but a visit to the "Three Horseshoes" in Bighton, Hampshire (near Alresford) that served a mean baguette, with salad and crisps (chips) and a side order of chips (fries) and a pint of Gale's Mild (dark, 3% ABV and tasting like Theakstons' "Old Peculiar" should before "they" spoilt it) and a trip up Butser Hill.

New toy - Fuji S7000

The local Custom Car Show Wheels Day 2005 is on tomorrow. I usually take a ton of photos but have missed the show for a couple of years and I'm looking forward to being there again. Hopefully my buddies will have the Pontiac and the Camaro ready to show, but my hot rod aint ready :( Maybe next year huh?

Trouble is that I didn't get my old Fuji S602 fixed in time ("burn" mark on the CCD) I could have used it but all the pics would have been "tainted" - look at the blot in the sky on the Watership Down post. The 35mm SLR could have once again seen the light of day too, but the photos need to be published in a hurry so any "downtime" was not an option.

So in a state of emergency I dusted off the credit card *cough spit* and looked around for some new gear. Dropping any features or losing an functionality was not on the agenda so I settled for the Fuji S7000, the natural predecessor to the Fuji S602 Zoom.

The best deal was from the UK's Internet Cameras Direct who had two of these "Rare as rocking horse shit" devices; not bad considering many places were out of stock due to an alleged "worldwide shortage", and the only other place that carried stock (where I got the S602 some 3 years ago - once the cheapest place on the 'net) had put a £200 premium on their camera! (w*nkers)

Anyway ICD were really helpful, very polite, guaranteed a next day delivery and threw in some extras (512mb card and a case) at a nice price :D

It's pretty much the same camera as my old one with a few minor updates (6-12 meg CCD, xD card, remote cable fitting, 1 new focus setting, more tactile finish to the camera body...) and there's a pos and a neg to this.

+ It must be a good design for Fuji not to have changed it in 3 years
+ No need to learn any new settings
+ 512Mb of photos (not 128Mb)
+ double the resolution (not that I see any need for 4048x3040 pixels for web use and 15"x10" prints just yet)

- The Subaru needs tax, MOT and a full service next week
- It's not really a toy, it's a replacement for a piece of busted kit that actually earns me a crust
- I'm not really that excited by it
- Can't believe I just sat here and wrote all this crap

I love it really ;) Just could have done with spending the dosh on something else.

Sweaty in the Dojo

So, some muppet leaves the heating on and the dojo is hot - hot, hot, hot; an intense session leaves me dripping in sweat - man, I'm burning up. So then I get paired up with the prettiest woman in the club for some stretching exercises...

...I just hope she didn't mind my sweat as much as I did.

The Decline of Western Civilization: Part X

Everything King Midas touched turned to gold...

...we need a little of that talent now, because everything's turning to shit...

• Junk flyers - for a while now, "cleverly" stealthed into magazines - Rupert Murdoch's evil empire accepts money from advertisers to jam a dozen junk flyers in a magazine you don't want (the Sky magazine, "free" with your $934 annual TV subscrtiption - does anyone ever read it?) trying to get you to consume more shit you don't want.
  
  
• Chav nation - you are not cool, OK? Cool is something genuine, you can't buy it - and even if you could it doesn't automatically make you cool. A wanker driving a BMW is still a wanker, right? Remember the saying "you can't polish a turd"? Big sovereign rings, wearing a phat chain outside your clothing, burberry, all over sportswear, the IQ reducing cap... now you don't have to be stupid and anonymous, you can show the whole word you're stupid too.
  
  
• Bling - Know what I mean, innit? That word well and truly sucks. And bling bling. Do you know how fucking stupid that sounds? It ranks alongside toot toot, wee wee, parp parp, tummy, loo and bottom burp. Dumb vocabulary for even dumber people. Or just infantile?
  
  
• The Crazy Frog - Most ringtones are just annoying "status" symbols. They're an electronic audio extension of people's fragile, demented egos and mobile phones must ring loud and long, enough to broadcast your banality to the surrounding public. The Crazy Frog is a moron and so are the numbskulls who paid $$$ for it. Still, it's reputed to have coined-in over £10 million though...
  
  
• Pimping your ride - Oh yeah, it's cool to be a guy who associates with trash whores and then wastes dirt money on the chariot - no longer the ultimate horsedrawn platform for commanding armies and the unleashing of arrows and spears, but the ultimate symbol of an ability to piss money down the drain - a tricked-out '57 Chevy IS cool, a Citroen Saxo IS NOT cool, no matter how much plastic the Blue Peter team glue to it. Metal or Plastic - your choice.


• Lager - Crap, tasteless, cheap fizzy water with alcohol injected into the prcess. Why is Carling Britain's best-selling "beer"? Why? And Carlsberg being probably the best lager in the world? That's like being in the Guiness book of Records for doing probably the world's biggest turd. No wonder the Danes can't wait to see it leave... a bit like pumping raw sewage out to sea. Selling bland liquid to a nation of complete suckers, brilliant strategy. And Fosters? Even the Australians don't drink that stuff.
  
  
• Credit Cards - Britain owes 75% of the whole of Europe's consumer credit debt. Think about it - the other 25% is divided between France, Germany, Spain, Italy, Portugal, the Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark, Sweden... you get the picture.
  
  
• Property - Popular TV has created a nation of wannabe property developers. Buy house, do it up, sell it on at a profit... Buy a house, knock it down, build a block of flats -"Loadsamoney". It's OK for the developers, they don't have to live in these poxy little boxes. People are getting bigger, dwellings are getting smaller... is that ironic or just plain wrong?
  
  
• Pop music - It was October last year when I said Pop Sucks and I still stand by that.

Rant over. Other than that, things are just fine and dandy. Have a nice day :)

Time Travel

RahX inspired this with a post requesting random stuff... I answered and ended up thinking about...

Time Travel: wouldn't it be great? To actually travel back in time and see things as they really happened?

Wouldn't it be great to...

• Punch a few Yuppies in the 1980s
• Go see all the cars in the 1970s
• Party with all the hippies in the 1960s
• Experience the buzz of Rock 'n' Roll in the 1950s
• Appreciate the sacrifices of the 1940s
• Find out something about the 1930s...
• See America in the 1920s

The list could go on, much abbreviated as it is, to include stuff like...

• watching the rise and fall of the Roman Empire
• seeing what Dinosaurs did in their spare time
• discovering the real facts of JFK's assassination
• growing up in 60s San Fransisco
• finding out the true origins of all the religious figures
• seeing just how many beans cowboys really ate
• understandinng that the Fire of London was caused by a discarded cigarette/spliff butt and not burnt bread...

There's only one potential issue... wouldn't it be a bummer if you could only go back in time and still be in exactly the same place? You'd have to get to the location of the interesting events somehow... Imagine the journey...

What would you do if you could travel back in time? Where would you go? What would you want to see? Who would you visit? What would you like to understand the origins of? Would you just kick back and enjoy the view?

Answers on a postcard to...

Woah, Rocket Attack !!!

LMAO.

Tired of speeding tickets?
Want to open up spaces between you and the cars around you?

Step 1. Tie these balloons to your car
Step 2. Drive VERY FAST
Step 3. Watch people freak out.
Step 4. Tell the nice officer you thought they were real.




Listen Up: Currently Head Over Heels with the Cocteau Twins...

Impulse Buying

So there I was, bombing off to one of the local Supermarkets to replace a packet of Banoffee Popcorn I'd scoffed...

...and in a classic case of Sod's Law, what's the last thing you find? The very thing you were looking for. Just like, when you're in a hurry or trying not to be late, everyone else goes that little bit slower...

Anyway... Impulse Buying. Instead of just one packet of Banoffee Popcorn I came back with...

• 2 litres of Pure Orange Juice with bits - I felt robbed last time I accidentally picked up the "smooth" juice - no fun in it.
• 2 packets of Chocolate Toffee Popcorn
• Bag of Liquorice Alsorts
• A bottle of Bardolino to go with
• A Margherita Pizza to be topped with
• A packet of Milano Salami and
• A jar of hot chillis but not
• A tin of Baked Beans which can go on
• A Seeded Batch when it's toasted of course.
• 4 nearly-out-of-date Deli Bakes
• A bottle of HP sauce
• An inedible copy of MBR and
• A packet of Oreos - yes Rebekah they sell the chocolote ones over here :D

Oh yeah, what was the point in being here? Ah, yes, Banoffee Popcorn... some of that too.

Half a packet of chocolate toffee popcorn has been consumed during the writing of this and the orange juice will cure my guilt.

Currently having a "Hard On for Jesus" from the Dandy Warhol's excellent 1998 "Come Down"

Watership Down

It's not just the name of a book by Richard Adams, it's an actual place in Hampshire.

And, as with the rest of England, there really hasn't been that much rabbit activity of late, probably due to myxomatosis, I don't know...

But there were a load of bikers "tearing up" the countryside this Saturday.

It was early, it was sunny and it was cold and windy. The route 'round the Watership Down area of Hampshire, including White Hill and the TV mast at Hannington was about 25 miles and it was knackering. I even managed to take a tumble on a downhill section and rip some skin :D

But, did the whole 25 miles, albeit 5 of them rather reluctantly, and was happy to eventually make it home for a hot bath and 12 and a half hour sleep. Mmm, sleep.

Need to keep working at my fitness, that was an evil day out, but plenty more of those to come. Roll on warm days and sunshine...

BTW, sorry 'bout the blot on the sky photo. The CCD on my old Fuji S602 has burnt out after nearly 3 years of constant (ab)use. Nevermind fixing or buying new cameras, there's a car to MOT by the end of the month.

Where on earth did that come from?

Ever find things in your posession that you really just don't know where they came from?

A CD, a book, some random item of clothing... a Key?

One of my cats jumped up on the desk the other day and started playing with some random item, which eventually got pushed under the PC keyboard. When he got bored and jumped down I went to see what it was...

...A key. A random key. Don't recall seeing it before, don't know where it came from, don't know what it does...

...it's scuffed & scratched a little, like it's been on the floor and has a number punched on it; but if I have picked it up off the floor I don't recall doing so, where or when...

So what is it for? A safety deposit box with a pouch of diamonds, a bar of gold, a wedge of foreign banknotes, a 9mm pistol and a fake ID? The key to Angelina Jolie's underwear locker? The key to Cat Deeley's chastity belt? Or is it more zen than that?

Anyone got any ideas what it might be? Fun speculation invited :D

Anyone ever found something in their possession that puzzled them as to its origins?

Wait, that reminds me - I woke up one day, years ago, with a green light bulb in my pocket...

If you fancy the Drummer Chick...

...make her happy and go buy the single.

Weapons of Mass Belief released "Blackline Ninja" on American Blood Recordings on Monday 7th March and, forgetting my duties, I only managed to get into town today. It's on sale in HMV and Virgin, so I went into Camberley to support my local independant, The Rockbox.

When I got outside and opened the bag I found that the Ninja cover was a tricky little design... all sealed with a diagonal perforation... Neat :D But what about the day when I raise a family of punk rock kids? What valuable and cool music are they gonna inherit from their dad? So I decided to go to Virgin and buy another copy, a legacy to the kids, all sealed and stashable :D

So what you doing reading this? Go buy "Blackline Ninja" - it sounds awesome on my NAD Amp - just gotta see 'em live now. Anyone know when they're playing the Tumbledown in Farnborough?

No, not Farnham, FARNBOROUGH...

Keep it up, weapons... nice bunch o' people, great band, and did I mention, their Drummer Chick is hot ;)

Rock the Bloc Party

The party was at The Forum in Kentish Town, and with the travel arrangements for such a reasonably short journey requiring a level of insight worthy of a military strategist, all public transport was foregone for the sake of driving door-to-door. Put it this way; more than 2 hours to travel 40 miles is a bit too slow for anyone, don't ya think?

Needless to say the pre-gig arrangements were a mini adventure in themselves involving exploding bottles of water, crap directions from a "trusted" brand-name source, congestion charging, fresh panini, dodging the wheel-clampers & tow-trucks, coping with the "very limited parking" and, as per usual, a dose of good luck and great timing.

Oliver showed up in time for us to grab a decent pint, warm up from the freezing temperatures and head on down to the party :D



The first support was OK; don't know who they were, but the lead singer looked just like footballer John Harley (John Harley, John Harley) Then Chromeo came on, a 3-piece '80s style funk outfit from the States sounding like Cameo... funky and bassy.

But the cream of the night's performances came from some guys called Bloc Party.

The crowd was abuzz with expectation, this was the band's first album tour. The lighting was sharp, there was plenty of dry ice (or was that just tons of smoke) and the atmosphere was good...

The thing that initially freaked me out :D was Kele Okereke's T_shirt; he had a Calico Jack Skull & Cutlass T-shirt. Funny as that's my avatar over at DP forums ;)

But what a band... I think they were looking forward to this as much as we were. The main man came across with good attitude, not phased at all by the attention they're getting and very down to earth too.

Believe me, they're better live than on the LP - plenty of depth and warmth to the guitar sounds. I have to admit that on a number of ocassions the riffing was so good I thought I was in a Hawkwind concert, it was pretty psychedellic. And that Russell Lissack can really make a guitar scream - the way he played that axe on "She's Hearing Voices" just blew me away.

The only thing missing was the vocal harmonies, like on "Modern Love" but that didn't detract from the experience at all. For a four-piece they make all the right noises.

Bloddy marvellous :D

Blogger interaction time

OK, so I saw this over at The Disgruntled Chemist who got it from Texas Biscuit.

Do this, and no cheating... ;)

• Grab the nearest book.
• Open the book to page 123.
• Find the fifth sentence.
• Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
• Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

So, here goes...

Nearest book location: the bathroom
Title: "in praise of SLOW: how a worldwide movement is challenging the cult of speed"
Author: Carl Honoré

"Yet such prejudice is starting to look outdated. Meditation is going mainstream. Ten million Americans now practice it regularly, and meditation rooms are popping up all over the industrialised world, from airports, schools and prisons to hospitals and offices."

So there you have it. Your turn :D