Ski Wednesday

Becky, my clutzy Yankee doodle girlfriend, just skied down the stairs in her slippers which flipped off her feet and ended up on the hall table. Had she ended up in a pile at the foot of the stairs, like she did a couple of months ago, things might not have been so funny :)

Strangely enough, and some years ago now, an old friend, drunk and hosting a party at his house, donned his skis and skied down his staircase. After being picked up off the floor at the bottom of the staircase he was carted away to hospital only to return with his leg in plaster :)

Which all leads nicely onto this...

"Man Skis Down Escalator at Angel Tube Station, London"



Apparently the cops were not amused either.

BBFK to the rescue

I was so busy getting littl'un out the door this morning, digging in my pockets to find enough change for her school dinners and ushering her out the front door and into the car to get to school on time, that I completely forgot my own dinner money.

I have a 20 pence coin and a bass pick in my pocket... not quite enough legal tender there to liberate the 11 o'clock snack wagon of a salami roll, let alone a packet of crisps!

So a quick bit of IM'ing on Skype and BBFK and before you can say "Robert's your auntie's live-in lover" there was a hand-delivered package of hot bacon salad rolls, a blueberry yogurt, a "toffee temptation" dessert and some fruit :)

Now that's what I call a top bird. Thanks darlin' ;)

Ann Summers Party

So Becky says, about an hour before she's due to go out...

"I've been invited to a party tonight. Guess who by?"

I guessed straight away. And then I asked "Ann Summers party?"

"Yeah!" said Becky "How did you know?"

Well, what sort of party does a mother in this town go to at short notice on a Tuesday night?

I laughed and made quips about sex toys and the like. Becky shot me this look... So I let out one more belly laugh and responded

"No, it's like a Tupper party, you know... kitchenware and all that. So please, no more containers, we've got too many already. We do need a garlic press and a serving spoon though."

I dropped her off with a 20 quid note in her hand... I wonder what she'll come back with? LOL

Nine Inch Nails

I was well psyched for Nine Inch Nails at Brixton Academy on Wednesday... Me and BBFK were joined by my buddies SE and the ever-hilarious CG, after I spent a day plugged into the best of NiN's audio delights via iTunes, courtesy of my old Sony headphones chosen for their low Hz freq...

So we started with Ladytron for Hors d'œuvre, a band I suspected BBFK would have wanted to play on her show back in her DJ Chicknrock days; funnily enough she knew of 'em already and had spun a few choice plates, so that was a good guess.

Ladytron were OK, a bit drawn out for a couple of tracks, but a nice tight 5-piece, including 3 chicks, one bird on bass guitar. Nice to see but a bit delicate to hear...



Then we skipped the serving of garlic bread and went straight on to the intravenous injection of hard tunes with Trent Reznor jumping on after we'd downed a couple of crap lagers and treating us to a blinding display of vicious, hard-rocking NiN numbers. They were sharp, they were hard, they rocked the place, although I felt the crowd weren't as with it as many gigs I've been to... maybe they were suffering from the same as me... I didn't have a clue what NiN were playing for half the set.

Maybe that's my fault for getting too deep into only the dark & heady remixes and the blinding later stuff, but then I did sing-a-long to "Head Like a Hole" and lost myself in "Hurt" with the recent tracks "The Hand that feeds" and "Only" (the best NiN track ever) bringing a smile to my face. Although Becky will remind you I'm a bit deaf when it comes to the high notes I wish the sound guys hadn't overdone the amazing drums and simply bought the bass out a little bit more. Damn, did I say a little? I meant a LOT more. But then I am biased ;)

Would have liked to have heard "Metal", "Something I Can Never Have", "All the Love in the World" and "Right Where It Belongs", but then I should see NiN some more or simply get my shit together and do some covers...

I'm becoming less defined as days go by,
Fading away, well you might say I'm losing focus,
Kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself.

Sometimes I think I can see right through myself,
Sometimes I think I can see right through myself,
...
*Sometimes I can see right through myself*

Less concerned about fitting into the world... your world that is!
'cos it doesn't really matter anymore,
No it doesn't really matter anymore,
None of this... really matters any more.

Yes, I am alone, but then again I always was,
As far back as I can tell I think maybe it's because,
Because you were never really real to begin with...

I just made you up to hurt myself,
I just made you up to hurt myself,
Yeah, and I just made you up to hurt myself,
I just made you up to hurt myself,
Yeah, and I just made you up to hurt myself.

And it worked... Yes it did!

There is no you, there is only me,
There is no you, there is only me,
There is no fucking you, there is only me,
There is no fucking you, there is only me.

Only.
Only.
Only.
Only.

Well the tiniest little dot caught my eye; it turned out to be a scab,
And I had this funny feeling, like I just knew it's something bad,
I just couldn't leave it alone,
Pickin' at that scab, it was a doorway trying to seal itself shut,
But I climbed through...

Now I am somewhere I am not supposed to be,
And I can see things I know i really shouldn't see,
And now I know why,
And now I know why,
Things aren't as pretty... on the inside.

There is no you, there is only me,
There is no you, there is only me,
There is no fucking you, there is only me,
There is no fucking you, there is only me!

Only.
Only.
Only.
Only.
Only.
Only.
Only
Only.

How can you not like Nine Inch Nails with lyrics like that? Not to mention the raw 'verbing bass line, the poetic, angsty delivery of those lines, the addictive personality...

...what if everything around you isn't quite as it seems? "Right where it belongs"... you can play that at my funeral ;)

I gotta go... it's dark...

P.S. My missus is a daft sod for not saying anything to Cate Blanchett when she bumped into her...

AWOL

Been AWOL for a week ;)

1. Becky got locked out of the house and used a coat hanger, an open window and a skinny little butt to get in
   
   
2. A day later we ALL got locked out and my method for getting us and our hot stir fry dinner in the house involved using an electric drill, a jigsaw and a small child!
   
   
3. I put Becky's lovely new replacement Samsung E 900 mobile phone in the washing machine. The phone was full of water for 3 days!
   
   
4. I drove Becky's flying brick along the M3 the other night and it ran out of petrol. We walked a mile to the petrol station, got tipped-off by a passing RAC patrol that the police were hovering around our vehicle and likely to have it towed away. Then we queued, bought a fuel can, filled it up, queued, paid for our gas, walked a mile back to the car and were only an hour late to the pub!
   
   
5. Once at the pub I said "wouldn't it be funny if we were at the wrong place?"... we were. Seconds later I got a phone call from my friend saying we were supposed to be at the Jolly Farmer in Binstead not the Jolly Miller in Warnborough. Funnily enough both places had a skittle alley.
   
   
6. Becky's Samsung is, 3 days later, finally dry and charging up ;)
   
   
7. We go to see Trent Reznor tomorrow :p
   
   
8. I need a cup of tea.