Obama the Hammer

Barack Obama is a West Ham fan.

I thought he was a good bloke, now I know for sure.

Mao-ning about the Citroen Ad

The French carmaker Citroen has just pulled the plug on a full-page ad it placed in a number of Spanish newspapers because it features a scowling caricature of Chairman Mao.

Citroen apologized for the ad and admitted it was "inappropriate" after some members of the Chinese public mao-ned that the ad apparently insulted Mao, the WHOLE Chinese nation and purportedly "hurt their national pride".

For fuck's sake, people, LIGHTEN UP. There seems to be a huge global SENSE OF HUMOUR BYPASS that's getting out of control where people get so incredibly upset when you just have a *bit* of a laugh!

Oh look, Maggie Thatcher as Hanibal Lecter, the Queen with a safety-pin (ala Sex Pistols)... who cares?!

I now expect a barrage of abuse from the Chinese, Thatcherites, Royalists and the French for not putting a silly umlaut/accent thingy over Citroen's letter 'e'.

Your Both Retards

Quote of the day has to be in this post on a forum from a third party in response to two other forum members having a dispute. It's actually a month old now but I only just spotted it today:

"To funny, Although I think your both retards."

And if you think that's funny you can get a t-shirt in the same vein from bustedtees ;)

Now, if only people could be a little more accurate in there grammar & typing we wouldn't think their retards would we?

Victoria Beckham looks like...

Ever since "Posh" Spice married David Beckham and shed the few remaining pounds she had that made her curvy and feminine, I've thought her to be a narcissistic stick, obsessed only with the shallow desires of celebrity status and the easy money that being so far up your own arse brings.

Take for instance the "wedding of the year" when they sold their pics to that epitome of superficiality, the gutter press photo magazine "Hello" with her and David sitting on thrones. Who do they think they are, royalty?

Then there's the naming of their first child Brooklyn... I bet he was conceived in Peckham in London and if he was REALLY conceived in New York I bet they even got that wrong and it was actually Queens ;)

And Romeo... the poor bugger, what sort of dumbass calls their kid Romeo? OK, don't answer that...

Well my point is that I still think David Beckham is thicker than two short planks but at least had the noodle to try out a dish with more meat on it and Victoria Beckham is just... well, a talentless waste of space, and being the hypocrite I can be at times I'm wasting my time & typing fingers on giving her name valuable webspace.

But this made me chuckle today... It's now 2008, the National Year of Reading and the BBC bought to my attention the fact that apparently Victoria Beckham has never read a book. Well that figures. She's dumb, vacuous and she's never read a book but 10 out of 10 for making a career out of no talent and no intelligence.

But what really made me laugh in that BBC report was the photo, accredited to Getty Images - the stupid bint is obviously in pose mode, having tarted herself up with a trendy haircut and those stupid bugeye glasses that are all the rage amongst people who wear those stupidly huge glasses. And to top-off her look are the silly glossy lips (hey look, I spilled varnish on my pout) and bad skin (look at the lunar craters on her forehead due south of the mer de stupidity) but worse, much worse than this...

...she thinks she looks good and I think she looks like Andy Warhol.

Guildford Ghost Tour

Becky's sister and her husband have been in England for just over a week now and we've been mega busy. Unfortunately muggins here is back at work but there's just time to say that we did the Ghost Tour of Guildford last night, run by a dear old friend of mine. Guildford's a fantastic town anyway, so to be shown around in the cold dark night by our hilarious guide was a Monday night well spent.

If you're ever down our way give us a shout and we'll do the tour again... we can stop in The Three Pigeons for a pint of Timothy Taylor's Landlord afterwards if you want...? :)

HNY

We left Ohio and flew to NYC for a couple of days and then touched down in old Blighty on the 30th December, just in time to prep the house for the arrival of Becky's sister and her husband. Being a little jet-lagged ourselves we spent the best part of 12 hours labouring to get the house ready before dumping ourselves in our new spa bath at 1:30am on New Years Eve to drink a well-earned glass of cold white wine...

And when we woke up at 7am (not in the bath) we dragged ourselves off to Gatwick to pick up our jet-lagged people, drive them around the English countryside, through Guildford and Farnham and finally home to Farnborough. After dropping off suitcases we dragged our travel-weary relatives through the shops for a few more errands until I saw their eyes glaze over with tiredness... we took them home and let them get a well-earned rest at 2pm.

So by 8pm we were in the Crown & Cushion, Minley (you know, our local pub just on the other side of the forest) where we dropped off the Subaru and met my bro, his girlfriend and my step mum. William & Julie, landlord and landlady of the aforementioned drinking establishment, put on quite a party... there was a Thai curry buffet, good music, good people and a curiously-shaped ice sculpture through which alcohol was poured to dribble out of the bell-shaped end... Becky took a good mouthful, so be prepared for an edit here and photos to follow...

I'm off to cycle through the wet woods around Hawley Lake and retrieve the Subaru from the Crown & Cushion car park... HaPPY NeW YeaR :D