Becky had just gone to bed and I was not long behind her. I crawled into the sack but my mind was still racing, having just slaved over a client’s website for the last couple of hours whilst keeping one eye on The Wedding Crashers.

I was tired to say the least. And yet, when my head touched the pillow, I was not ready to sleep.

It was nearly 1am. I lay there; tired, brain still in overdrive, contemplating going back downstairs to work until Xam. I heard a noise. A rattle. Or a scratch? It was like my cat repeatedly scratching on the door, it sort of came from that direction.

I got up. Saffron was not at the bedroom door, so it must have been from the ground floor. She must have locked herself in the sitting room, so I went downstairs. I opened the lounge door and she was there on her blanket, curled up and cosy.

Hah, I must have been going mad, hearing rattles in the middle of the night. To bed. To sleep. Perchance to have some meaningful dream and wake up with an answer to save the planet, to world peace, to make a million…

Wednesday: 09:00

I roll into work and my boss says “Did you hear there was an earthquake last night?”

Funny that – I heard someone talking about earthquakes on the radio on my drive in…

And it seems that there was an earthquake here in England last night. It was a couple of hundred miles away but it measured 5.3 on the sphincter scale. It must have shaken the house ever-so gently here in Farnborough.

Something similar happened a few years back when I heard things go kaboom in the night.

Peace to the night owls

But it did knock over trees, rip off roofs, topple a chimney or two, overturn a caravan, completely destroy a bus shelter and get us on the nation’s BBC news at ten last night

Anyways, the point is that I had one “jam” doughnut on Wednesday with no JAM in it and a second one yesterday, again with NO JAM in it. That’s two “jam” doughnuts with NO JAM. And no Jelly neither :p

Anyway, Jelly wobbles, Jam doesn’t.

So for those of you who don’t know me on Facebook, that’s what’s been happening, man.

Kick out the Jams!

We stayed in the West Ham hotel over Friday night, where we stayed when we first met nearly 3 years ago, and this time the car didn’t disappear! She did a neat trick with some plates though…

Saturday’s weather was particularly top notch, warm & sunny, so thanks to mother nature for that, and the 3-0 scoreline was a cracking birthday present too, so thanks to the Hammers for that result. Oh, and cheers to Middlesboro’s Luke Young who scored a blinding own goal on our behalf

As for the traffic on the eastbound Barking Road, you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it, I hate traffic and I hate cities so next time we’re taking the express route in and out of the east end of London.

Everytime I order something from eBay, I open the parcel and get this same distinct aroma… seriously! Hence my question;

“why does everything on eBay smell the same?”

It’s this sort of pungent sweet musty smell, like everybody from whom I’ve brought anything on eBay smokes Turkish or Russian cigarettes and hordes away electronic gadgetry and EE Doc Smith & Sci Fi novels in dusty corners, the treasures finally squeezed into padded Jiffy bags with one last puff of foreign-flavoured nicotine to wish the items luck on their way to the leafy suburbs of green & pleasant Hampshire.

Go on, next time you order something used from eBay, get yourself a noseful and tell me I’m right.

Anyway, I’m going to be nosey now: what was the last thing you ordered off eBay…?

Cool. I’d like to be an Online Driver. Do you think it requires me to get a second life account and go pimp my ride?

I know it states “4 years full driving licence required” but that’s nothing – I’ve had mine for nearly 20 years AND I’m not only a demon driver but a dab hand at MSR, Project Gotham, Gran Tourismo, SEGA Rally et al.

I can do that, I can be an Online Driver.

Gizza Job.

So I’ll say it again…

TOSSFEST; that’s the Thai Open Source Software FESTival

And what a logo, I bet they splashed out a bit on that.

1. Becky got locked out of the house and used a coat hanger, an open window and a skinny little butt to get in

2. A day later we ALL got locked out and my method for getting us and our hot stir fry dinner in the house involved using an electric drill, a jigsaw and a small child!

3. I put Becky’s lovely new replacement Samsung E 900 mobile phone in the washing machine. The phone was full of water for 3 days!
4. I drove Becky’s flying brick along the M3 the other night and it ran out of petrol. We walked a mile to the petrol station, got tipped-off by a passing RAC patrol that the police were hovering around our vehicle and likely to have it towed away. Then we queued, bought a fuel can, filled it up, queued, paid for our gas, walked a mile back to the car and were only an hour late to the pub!
5. Once at the pub I said “wouldn’t it be funny if we were at the wrong place?”… we were. Seconds later I got a phone call from my friend saying we were supposed to be at the Jolly Farmer in Binstead not the Jolly Miller in Warnborough. Funnily enough both places had a skittle alley.
6. Becky’s Samsung is, 3 days later, finally dry and charging up
7. We go to see Trent Reznor tomorrow :p
8. I need a cup of tea.