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Attack of the Giant Slugs

August 24th, 2007

Forget flying slugs, I don’t have a big enough catapult to sling the new wave of giant gastropods. (Yes, yes, I know, that picture was actually a trebuchet not a catapult)

So to answer the question… Is the UK facing a slug plague? Yes. But more importantly than that take a look at the SIZE of this bastard next to Becky’s car!

Giant slug parked next to Mini

And as for people finding this blog with the phrase “why do slugs come in the house”, well that’s a good question… ‘cos just after finding the gigantic slug next to Becky’s Mini I went to get the milk from the fridge for a cup of tea and found a snail on the fridge door!

so rather than “why do slugs come in the house” more to the point is “how do snails get in the house?”… This snail must have sneaked through the cat flap…

Snail on my fridge

Anyway, don’t tell Becky about the snail on the fridge door, she doesn’t know ;)

Oh, and Happy Birthday to my blog, 3 years old today :)

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1000 days

July 15th, 2007

On May 20th 2007 I was going to proclaim that this blog had been up for 1000 days and maybe unveil a shiny new design.

I missed posting on the 20th May and life’s been too busy since for redesigns of mere personal blogs. So I hacked the CSS of this one again, produced a few new graphics and it should be just a *little* bit shinier than it was before – yes, a little slower maybe but a touch more pretty. I like pretty.

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Tour de France

July 9th, 2007

Tour de France, Pembury, Kent - Road closedThe last time I publicly stated my desire to see the Tour de France was back in December 2004 and here we are with 2 and a half years rolling by before I finally get to achieve a small personal goal.

I got a little help though; for those of you who may not be aware, the Prologue and Stage 1 of Le Tour de France 2007 were in England :) I tried to see the Prologue in London yesterday but was denied by the lack of parking on the outskirts of the capital – yes, it was heaving – 1 million+ people turned out to cheer the riders on.

Tete de la coursBut Sunday’s jaunt involved a sunny drive out to the Kent countryside and I finally got to see Le Tour.

Having found myself a nice spot outside the little town of Royal Tonbridge Wells, along a green and leafy oak-lined English road, I bagged myself a handful of photos of the riders as they whistled past, before heading east to the finish in the city of Canterbury.

Canterbury was fun getting into – road closures and diversions, but finding a spot to park was surprisingly easy. Getting anywhere within sight of the race finish was nigh on impossible so I holed-up within view of the raised winners podium for some long-distance zoom shots.

Fabio Cancellara in the maillot jauneAnd I wasn’t totally disappointed – I got to see Robbie McEwen, the Aussie stage winner, who crashed just 25 kms before the finish, but still got back on his bike and went on to win, maillot jaune winner Fabian Cancellara and Britain’s own David Millar, holder of the “King of the Mountains” jersey for now (yeah, I know; where are the mountains in Kent?)

And when all the public festivities were over and everyone was told to go home, I lingered on a little and somehow found myself in the journo’s compound; I don’t know how I got in there ;) I was just a few feet away from Robbie McEwen and could easily have interviewed him about his fall and consequent amazing comeback, but nah, I grabbed some pics of him and Cancellara instead.

So, a good day out, I’d recommend it, especially as it’s in Belgium today and then on to France. We will be there next year…

Check out the beeb for Sunday’s Stage 1 Tour de France 2007 report.

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Orchestral Manoeuvres

June 28th, 2007

I must have been just 11 years old, maybe 10… I had been gifted money from my Grandma for Christmas, and there I was clutching a fiver, perusing the tapes and LPs in Debenhams department store in Chelmsford… I had a proper ghetto blaster at the time and access to Dad’s record player so I went for the tape option, a copy of Orchestral Manoueuvres in the Dark’s new album “Architecture & Morality“. It was the first album I ever bought, ever owned…

And that very same Compact Cassette may be here somewhere, I don’t know where, but I bought the CD version from a used record shop a few years back and now relive my childhood in the car, at my workstations… the opening strains of clicks and whirs and the mesmerising riff of “New Stone Age”, the heart-plucking tones of “She’s Leaving” and the unforgettable 1980s hits “Joan of Arc”, “Joan of Arc (Maid of Orleans)” and “Souvenir”…

…so nigh on 27 years later when my friend said “OMD are playing in Southampton” I leapt at the opportunity to see my childhood heroes.

We got a parking spot outside Southampton Guildhall, which was both fluky and trés cool, queued for a bit and got right near the front of the stage. Lovers Electric came on first, a cute boy/girl combo who played acoustic guitar and Casiotone (Yes, it had bossanova ;) ) and I thought Becky would have loved this.

The lights dimmed, the huge back display lit up, and the opening chimes of “Architecture & Morality” punctuated the deep choral samples… atmospheric images in black & white floated across the back of the stage… 4 minutes of audio/visual bliss… then into the epic “Sealand”, the screen awash with more artful video…

OMD then performed every track from the whole “Architecture & Morality” LP and followed on with all of their following 12 chart singles, including “Tessla Girls”, “Enola Gay”, “Electricity”, “Talking Loud & Clear” and my friend’s absolute favourite “Locomotion”

Now I was never a big fan past the first four albums (Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, Organisation, Architecture & Morality, Dazzle Ships) with the exception of Crush, but it was truly awesome to see & hear my childhood synth heroes and a bonus to meet them afterwards. Andy McClusky and Paul Humphries took the time to stop & chat and write signatures afterwards, they were absolute gentlemen :)

Now if they’d only played “Stanlow” and my own old favourite “Telegraph” then it would have been near perfect, just needed my girlfriend with us that night :)

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Fighting Fire with Fire.

June 26th, 2007

Know This…

gasIf your inability to control your sphincter muscles in the same office as me results in my sharing of your noxious odours, and air fresheners, the use of fans (even on cold days), plus various comments about needing fresh air etc. result in no preventative action on your half, then I will exercise my right to eat highly aromatic (aka stinky) curries in the same small workspace.

And if you don’t like the smell from my vicinity then think yourself lucky – at least it didn’t emanate from my anus.

Ah-fucking-soles.

Sermon over, now it’s back to my chicken tikka and lettuce sandwich.

P.S. Is it me or is there an echo around here?

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Patience

June 21st, 2007

Well I didn’t feel like blogging nor making statements of trivial frivolities on here in the wake of Becky’s brother’s untimely death, but I think enough time elapsed in tribute and deepest respect to Stefan James, a lovely bloke who is still sorely missed. A big thank you to all who left their comments here and with my Becky, who misses her brother dearly.

I returned to England leaving Becky to tie-up all the loose ends, look after her family etc. Big respect to Ergo who put me up in Brooklyn for the Cinqo de Mayo night before I returned to England, although I missed my cab the next morning but that’s another story…

So I get back to Olde Englande and find out that my uncle cannot have his surgery to remove lesions from his liver, thereby demanding more rounds of chemotherapy, my stepmother has a cancerous tumour removed and has to undergo radio therapy, my step-grandfather, who was diagnosed with cancer last year, passes away (RIP Adam Martin) and my own father is rushed to hospital after hemorrhaging and spitting blood – needing a blood transfusion and a new surgical procedure to ensure he too avoids an early demise.

Nice.

So there you have it folks, all fun and games. And did I tell you that I’m all on my own and missing my Becky like mad? She’ll be back soon but it’s been FAR too long and I want her home soon now.

So that was the good news, what of the bad?

Well, I saw Duke Special at the local West End Centre in Aldershot, watched Mick Jones and Tony James in their band Carbon/Silicon (and shook Mick Jones’ hand at the end of the gig), I sold the flying brick, went on a Jack the Ripper tour hosted by a top friend of mine, bought a new guitar to complement my bass, have been jamming with my bud SE, and I’ve been traveling the country for spare & performance parts for our fleet of cars… well OK, the Mini & the Subaru ;)

So now I’m just waiting for my Becky to get back before she misses the English summertime…

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Sleep

May 8th, 2007
Stefan James
Stefan James
11 June 1978 – 28 April 2007

Eulogy

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Oh the Green thing…

April 24th, 2007

…you mean the green thing I mentioned here?

Well, it’s one of these…

Racing Green Mini

So Becky’s got a new car. OK, not new, but new to her. 73,000 miles, British Racing Green Mini. It’s a bit of a bucket but it’s a bit of a laugh too. Personally I love it. And it made it all the way back from Scotland too, so that ain’t a bad run. All it needs now are sparkplugs, leads, points, fanbelt, an oil change and some TLC. Oh, and I need to take the twatty Max Power sticker off the back window too…

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St. George’s Day

April 23rd, 2007

I was in my home city of Aberdeen this weekend but I came home to England in the wee hours of this morning… The name of the city of Aberdeen is printed clearly on my passport and my driving licence but I have mostly lived in English towns and cities… I have two strong Scottish names but I speak with an English accent… It’s hard in some ways when you’re born a Scot but bought up as English… I am definitely British, vaguely a Scot but I am certainly dyed-in-the-wool English…

Yes, I am English. St. George is our patron saint and has been for nearly 800 years. And today it is St. George’s day, so stand up and be counted all you English. We have done bad, we done good, but we should be proud of our positive achievements and never forget our traditions, we should celebrate our identity, honour and remember the many men and women who have died defending this once-great country and out of respect for them and our own humble selves stand up and take the flag forward.

For St. George, For England !

St. George's Flag

Oh, and where’s our day off?

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Clash Day

April 18th, 2007

Would you Adam & Eve it? The Clash was released 30 years ago today?

The Clash - The ClashMan, I was probably still building Lego and scribbling pictures of volcanoes, dinosaurs and world warfare when this star of an LP came out, so it unearths sunny snapshots of the Spring of ‘77 and knowing that 30 years ago is when it all started… sitting on the playing field of an East Anglian school in a Union Jack hat whilst Jonny Rotten growled “God Save the Queen, She ain’t no human being.”

I mean it man.

Then moving to Essex… concrete jungles, new towns and drab cities, the Harlow glue sniffers, the Chelmsford Skinheads, Punks, Scooterboys, Rockers, the Oi Boys, 9 Below Zero…

But I digress, this is a day to remember Joe Strummer, Mick Jones, Paul Simonon and Terry Chimes, this is a day to remember The Clash and their first LP, a true and genuine punk gem of shiny new black vinyl.

BBC Radio 6 are supposed to be playing plenty of Clash this morning, but if they don’t give us a good run for our money there’s plenty of Clash on my iTunes… oh wait… oh bollocks! Wrong PC… all my Clash is on my home machine not on my laptop. Sod it!

Now I’m annoyed. I need my Clash fix.

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