So to answer the question… Is the UK facing a slug plague? Yes. But more importantly than that take a look at the SIZE of this bastard next to Becky’s car!

And as for people finding this blog with the phrase “why do slugs come in the house”, well that’s a good question… ‘cos just after finding the gigantic slug next to Becky’s Mini I went to get the milk from the fridge for a cup of tea and found a snail on the fridge door!

so rather than “why do slugs come in the house” more to the point is “how do snails get in the house?”… This snail must have sneaked through the cat flap…

Anyway, don’t tell Becky about the snail on the fridge door, she doesn’t know

Oh, and Happy Birthday to my blog, 3 years old today

I missed posting on the 20th May and life’s been too busy since for redesigns of mere personal blogs. So I hacked the CSS of this one again, produced a few new graphics and it should be just a *little* bit shinier than it was before – yes, a little slower maybe but a touch more pretty. I like pretty.

I got a little help though; for those of you who may not be aware, the Prologue and Stage 1 of Le Tour de France 2007 were in England I tried to see the Prologue in London yesterday but was denied by the lack of parking on the outskirts of the capital – yes, it was heaving – 1 million+ people turned out to cheer the riders on.

But Sunday’s jaunt involved a sunny drive out to the Kent countryside and I finally got to see Le Tour.

Having found myself a nice spot outside the little town of Royal Tonbridge Wells, along a green and leafy oak-lined English road, I bagged myself a handful of photos of the riders as they whistled past, before heading east to the finish in the city of Canterbury.

Canterbury was fun getting into – road closures and diversions, but finding a spot to park was surprisingly easy. Getting anywhere within sight of the race finish was nigh on impossible so I holed-up within view of the raised winners podium for some long-distance zoom shots.

And I wasn’t totally disappointed – I got to see Robbie McEwen, the Aussie stage winner, who crashed just 25 kms before the finish, but still got back on his bike and went on to win, maillot jaune winner Fabian Cancellara and Britain’s own David Millar, holder of the “King of the Mountains” jersey for now (yeah, I know; where are the mountains in Kent?)

And when all the public festivities were over and everyone was told to go home, I lingered on a little and somehow found myself in the journo’s compound; I don’t know how I got in there I was just a few feet away from Robbie McEwen and could easily have interviewed him about his fall and consequent amazing comeback, but nah, I grabbed some pics of him and Cancellara instead.

So, a good day out, I’d recommend it, especially as it’s in Belgium today and then on to France. We will be there next year…

Check out the beeb for Sunday’s Stage 1 Tour de France 2007 report.

And that very same Compact Cassette may be here somewhere, I don’t know where, but I bought the CD version from a used record shop a few years back and now relive my childhood in the car, at my workstations… the opening strains of clicks and whirs and the mesmerising riff of “New Stone Age”, the heart-plucking tones of “She’s Leaving” and the unforgettable 1980s hits “Joan of Arc”, “Joan of Arc (Maid of Orleans)” and “Souvenir”…

Photo © 2007 – Guildford Ghost

…so nigh on 27 years later when my friend said “OMD are playing in Southampton” I leapt at the opportunity to see my childhood heroes.

We got a parking spot outside Southampton Guildhall, which was both fluky and trés cool, queued for a bit and got right near the front of the stage. Lovers Electric came on first, a cute boy/girl combo who played acoustic guitar and Casiotone (Yes, it had bossanova ) and I thought Becky would have loved this.

The lights dimmed, the huge back display lit up, and the opening chimes of “Architecture & Morality” punctuated the deep choral samples… atmospheric images in black & white floated across the back of the stage… 4 minutes of audio/visual bliss… then into the epic “Sealand”, the screen awash with more artful video…

OMD then performed every track from the whole “Architecture & Morality” LP and followed on with all of their following 12 chart singles, including “Tessla Girls”, “Enola Gay”, “Electricity”, “Talking Loud & Clear” and my friend’s absolute favourite “Locomotion”

Now I was never a big fan past the first four albums (Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, Organisation, Architecture & Morality, Dazzle Ships) with the exception of Crush, but it was truly awesome to see & hear my childhood synth heroes and a bonus to meet them afterwards. Andy McClusky and Paul Humphries took the time to stop & chat and write signatures afterwards, they were absolute gentlemen

Now if they’d only played “Stanlow” and my own old favourite “Telegraph” then it would have been near perfect, just needed my girlfriend with us that night

If your inability to control your sphincter muscles in the same office as me results in my sharing of your noxious odours, and air fresheners, the use of fans (even on cold days), plus various comments about needing fresh air etc. result in no preventative action on your half, then I will exercise my right to eat highly aromatic (aka stinky) curries in the same small workspace.

And if you don’t like the smell from my vicinity then think yourself lucky – at least it didn’t emanate from my anus.

Ah-fucking-soles.

Sermon over, now it’s back to my chicken tikka and lettuce sandwich.

P.S. Is it me or is there an echo around here?

I returned to England leaving Becky to tie-up all the loose ends, look after her family etc. Big respect to Ergo who put me up in Brooklyn for the Cinqo de Mayo night before I returned to England, although I missed my cab the next morning but that’s another story…

So I get back to Olde Englande and find out that my uncle cannot have his surgery to remove lesions from his liver, thereby demanding more rounds of chemotherapy, my stepmother has a cancerous tumour removed and has to undergo radio therapy, my step-grandfather, who was diagnosed with cancer last year, passes away (RIP Adam Martin) and my own father is rushed to hospital after hemorrhaging and spitting blood – needing a blood transfusion and a new surgical procedure to ensure he too avoids an early demise.

Nice.

So there you have it folks, all fun and games. And did I tell you that I’m all on my own and missing my Becky like mad? She’ll be back soon but it’s been FAR too long and I want her home soon now.

So that was the good news, what of the bad?

Well, I saw Duke Special at the local West End Centre in Aldershot, watched Mick Jones and Tony James in their band Carbon/Silicon (and shook Mick Jones’ hand at the end of the gig), I sold the flying brick, went on a Jack the Ripper tour hosted by a top friend of mine, bought a new guitar to complement my bass, have been jamming with my bud SE, and I’ve been traveling the country for spare & performance parts for our fleet of cars… well OK, the Mini & the Subaru

So now I’m just waiting for my Becky to get back before she misses the English summertime…

Eulogy

Well, it’s one of these…

So Becky’s got a new car. OK, not new, but new to her. 73,000 miles, British Racing Green Mini. It’s a bit of a bucket but it’s a bit of a laugh too. Personally I love it. And it made it all the way back from Scotland too, so that ain’t a bad run. All it needs now are sparkplugs, leads, points, fanbelt, an oil change and some TLC. Oh, and I need to take the twatty Max Power sticker off the back window too…

Yes, I am English. St. George is our patron saint and has been for nearly 800 years. And today it is St. George’s day, so stand up and be counted all you English. We have done bad, we done good, but we should be proud of our positive achievements and never forget our traditions, we should celebrate our identity, honour and remember the many men and women who have died defending this once-great country and out of respect for them and our own humble selves stand up and take the flag forward.

For St. George, For England !

Oh, and where’s our day off?

Man, I was probably still building Lego and scribbling pictures of volcanoes, dinosaurs and world warfare when this star of an LP came out, so it unearths sunny snapshots of the Spring of ‘77 and knowing that 30 years ago is when it all started… sitting on the playing field of an East Anglian school in a Union Jack hat whilst Jonny Rotten growled “God Save the Queen, She ain’t no human being.”

I mean it man.

Then moving to Essex… concrete jungles, new towns and drab cities, the Harlow glue sniffers, the Chelmsford Skinheads, Punks, Scooterboys, Rockers, the Oi Boys, 9 Below Zero…

But I digress, this is a day to remember Joe Strummer, Mick Jones, Paul Simonon and Terry Chimes, this is a day to remember The Clash and their first LP, a true and genuine punk gem of shiny new black vinyl.

BBC Radio 6 are supposed to be playing plenty of Clash this morning, but if they don’t give us a good run for our money there’s plenty of Clash on my iTunes… oh wait… oh bollocks! Wrong PC… all my Clash is on my home machine not on my laptop. Sod it!

Now I’m annoyed. I need my Clash fix.